Measure Success DIFFERENTLY.

Don't Worry. I'm not writing a blog post about the still (yawn) never-ending talk about Angelina and Jennifer Aniston. The above photos represent a "look" or a "level of thin-ness" that years ago, I would have considered a "win" for me. I would have LOVED to be that skinny. I'm just being honest. 

Not anymore. 

**Please note before I continue on this point, my post is NOT in any way intended to critique these celebrities, to in any way make fun of their very thin bodies or suggest that they are not healthy. That's not my job. I'm just making some visual comparisons, and all of this is strictly MY opinion, MY point of view.**

The title of my blog post today is "Measure Success DIFFERENTLY." This came to me as I re-read THIS POST by my friend Kristin, about Warped Beauty Standards and Embracing the Buff. As I read, "Some might call me "bulky" at this point into my fitness journey: I am 16 pounds heavier than I was a year ago. My thighs are too big for a lot of my old pants and I can see muscles in places I never knew muscles existed.  Skirts fit me better now because my waist is much smaller.  I can haul a tire up a mountain for you if you ever need it, and overhead squat your back-talking seven year old.  I am more confident in my abilities and willingness to try new things.", this incredible A-HA moment came over me.

Amy and Sherry will recall several times this past year I'd complained that I wasn't fitting into my OLD JEANS. I was upset that my arms are so muscular now that I couldn't wear my Ann Taylor size XS tops anymore. I was upset by pants that were baggy on me four years ago were now NOT baggy. I remember both Amy and Sherry saying something to me like, "Why are you worrying about fitting into jeans or tops from four years ago?? Just get in your best shape now and buy clothes to fit THAT". 

Did I listen? Nope. 

I have been obsessed in the past about getting MY BODY "BACK" to where it was before. When I say "before" (for those of you new to my blog) I guess I'm referring to my body as it was before I experienced the hormonal changes that accompanied early onset perimenopause. I gained weight very suddenly in areas where I had NEVER gained before...and this was also accompanied by a HORRID skin condition on my arms, my upper back and chest. This started like in December of 2008- but mostly it was all of 2009- the year I just officially "wrote off" in my fitness journey- that my body became a stranger to me.  

I have whined and cried and gotten PISSED off about it, and then, a year ago, I was finally "diagnosed" correctly (it did feel GREAT to just have an answer, instead of some vague idea that my body was changing beyond my control) and got medication to balance the hormones. I thank God for this every single day. 2010 has been my "BACK AT IT" year and I've learned SO MUCH.....

The "A-HA" moments and lessons I've learned in the last quarter of 2010 are the best ones ever. This "A-HA!!!" moment referenced above is a BIG ONE.

I no longer aspire to achieve a physique that is just "skinny". The visual representation of success FOR ME, for MY BODY is totally different NOW than it was 4 years ago. So- KELLY- why are you obsessing about measuring your success NOW using measuring tools (i.e. jeans from 4 years ago or a top from 4 years ago) from BACK THEN?? 

As of today, that is OVER.

This is the kind of healthy and insanely fit that appeals to me now. I don't look at this picture and think, "Oh she must be a size 0, I have to be a size 0". I DON'T CARE WHAT SIZE I AM ANYMORE. I REALLY DON'T. I DON'T CARE WHAT I WEIGH. I REALLY DON'T. I will tell you all this NOW- if I end up with my HAPPY NAKED BODY and I weigh 160lbs and wear a size 8, I WILL NOT BE EMBARRASSED. I won't start freaking out when I read that Angelina Jolie weighs 100lbs and wears a size -5. 

I used to do that. I'd read that Jennifer Aniston was a size 0, and that is how I measured MY body. I'd read that Kendra had a 24 inch waist and then I'd measure mine and FREAK OUT. Guess what kids?? My waist HAS NEVER EVER EVER been a 25 inch waist, and I highly doubt it ever will be. 

I'm fine with that. For Realz.

When your abs look like this and your waist measures 28 inches instead of 24, who gives a crap? If that means I wear jeans that measure 31 instead of 27 (I really don't know what those jean measurements go by...is it waist size or just random?? European sizes I guess) who cares? I know I'll probably wear a bigger size anyway BECAUSE THIS BABY'S GOT BACK.

And I don't intend to make it smaller. Wow- 5 years ago I would NOT have said that. I would have wanted to have the flattest smallest butt available. Now, I embrace this bootie and I want only to make it HARDER, TIGHTER AND TOUGHER.

I love this Nike ad. Nike just GETS it. 

So, I've come a LONG way. I've learned much this year, and as I've said a lot recently- I am more READY and mentally equipped to kick serious ass in 2011. I'm going to be measuring success differently. 

One more important note on this topic. When you measure success- OWN WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO YOU. Don't let others sway you, and don't try to sway others to try to accomplish the same things that YOU want to accomplish. Your goals are YOURS. If you find like minds, that is AWESOME. But, I have learned (FINALLY) that each of our bodies are totally unique. My metabolism isn't like Amy's or my sister's or Madonna's metabolism. What I think is HOT is not necessarily what Amy will want to shoot for or what my sister would like to work toward or what Sherry thinks is ideal. 

Sherry's blog is titled, "I Define Me" and I love that. STICK TO THAT.

Just because I am claiming what I want and what I love, that doesn't mean I DON'T APPRECIATE or respect others that go a different way. 

HEALTH AND FITNESS IS HEALTH AND FITNESS. 

If you want to run and do yoga, and you aren't big on weights....that's your thing. Just because I like to crush it in the gym doesn't make me better than you or vice versa. If you like Kettlebells and triathlons, that's awesome, but don't poo-poo the efforts of someone who does only Yoga 6x a week. If you don't want to shoot for a ripped physique, that doesn't mean you can't learn some insights from a figure competitor. And figure competitors- don't think you can't run (*Ahem Jennifer Nicole Lee*) or that you can't throw in an intermittent fast or two. 

Keep an open mind. Learn from others. Decide what YOU WANT and define your success by that. Don't be swayed by others. OWN what you love. Support others in what they love. 

As for me, thank you to Kristin (who you will see on next Wednesday's WOOT! Factor!) for opening my eyes. It's time to buy some new jeans.

Idealize.

Hey Kids. This is gonna be a quickie blog post. I'm sharing a vlog below in the "series" of 'Ditching the Psycho Diet Mentality' that so many of you had asked about.....oh how do I NOT end a sentence with a preposition?? I hate Grammar #FAILS. Sorry! Anyway, as I talk about in this video, one of the things I started to realize this year was how much (unintentionally) I had IDEALIZED certain foods in my mind, simply because they were "Forbidden". So --- when we forbid certain foods, simply because we love them, but they are "BAD", there is a fundamental FAIL about to occur. The key is that when you forbid a food or food group for the wrong reasons, and you are still fantasizing about them in your head while you DIET AWAY....you are bound to keep returning to those same favorite foods again and again, usually in greater quantities and frequencies.....

Raise your hand if you have been there done that? 

Look back on my blog over the past two years and you'd see joking references to my 'forbidden foods' like Krispy Kremes or OREOS or Pizza or Pasta....

Not anymore. Why? As I share in the vlog below, the more I took the limits off this year, and allowed myself to eat what I wanted, to listen to my body....the more I found that when I DID have OREOS or Pop-Tarts or Pizza or ice cream- and when I PAID ATTENTION TO THE TASTE (not just the experience of OMG I'm eating this bad food!! I hope no one is watching!!), I realized that it REALLY DIDN'T TASTE THAT GREAT. In fact, MORE often than not, it tasted kind of MEH and QUITE OFTEN it gave me a stomachache.

Life is too short to walk around clutching your stomach whining about tummy aches. So....every time I ate something formerly idealized in my mind, I began to pay attention and really note "Wow these OREO Cakesters are really NOT all that....", it totally wiped out my desire for that food. Don't get me wrong, there are still a few "Don't Eat This Daily" foods that I will always love, but they are FAR less than the extensive list of "OMG Why Can't I Eat This Every Day???" foods about which I used to fantasize. 

NOW....you decide. Would you rather IDEALIZE FOOD, or VISUALIZE WHAT YOUR OPTIMALLY FIT BODY will look like?? 

Think about that. This is NOW what I do when I have food choices- or perhaps, a party or restaurant to go to and I'm thinking, "Oh Lord, we're going to Olive Garden tonight...I'm gonna want to have breadsticks and Alfredo...." <----NOW what I do is STOP thinking about how good some piece of food will taste (and in the case of the OG, yes it ALWAYS WILL TASTE GOOD!!!!) and instead think of how FREAKING AWESOME IT WILL FEEL when my abs look like this:

and hopefully my legs look a little more like this:

and my delts look more like this:

Yea, I'll take that over a 10 minute moment with some CARB all-year-round. It took me a while to get here, and it was a "journey" (Goooossshh that sounds SO Oprah I know) but I'm glad I got through it because now I feel that I'm in SUCH a better place to work and train HARD and eat to FUEL my training and keep my body running and running WELL. It's no longer about denial and obsessive madness. 

It's about kicking ass, having a blast while I'm doing it, and getting BETTER every single day. 

It's ON. 

QUESTION OF THE DAY: Do you feel like you have a good "relationship" with food now? 

Things Are Looking GOOD.

 

Hey Kids!! HELLOOOOO?? HELLOOOOO???

I say that because WOW, I am clearly not the only one that is kind of taking time off/swamped with family get-togethers and holiday madness right now. My blog traffic has taken a NOSEDIVE since Thanksgiving!! I almost became paranoid and bummed out, and then I remembered how fabulous I am, and I felt better about it. ;-) Y'all are allowed some family time.....hehehe Heck, here I am at 6pm just getting around to MY blog- I've been gone all day! DANG!! 

I have to tell you all- Sherry and I (and Amy if I am correct) have started incorporating the Four Hour Body principles (for "diet") this week (I'm still reviewing the workout approach he uses....I don't think it is set in stone and frankly I am more into choosing what I like- because I'm VERY VERY VERY excited about TRX, CrossFit, Running and more this year.....I don't want to limit my options), and I am already feeling the difference: no tummy aches and honestly, I'm losing....for sure I'm losing. And I don't feel crazed like I'm on some weird "diet" or that "oh rats I can't have this or that"....this is my CHOICE!

So, we all have personal goals that we are shooting for, both the remainder of THIS year and in 2011. For me, personally, I am so excited moving into 2011 because I feel like 2010 was my "back at it" year, the year I finally was treated for the seemingly never-ending medical condition I had and the treatment WORKS!! And this was the year I developed a much more sane relationship with food, finally. No more panicking and freaking out and obsessing- sure, I make changes, but it is because I agree with a principle and CHOOSE to do that, not because of a knee jerk panic reaction to "I'm not losing weight fast enough". I also figured out what I've been doing WRONG in the past (again, in an attempt to quickly fix the changes in my body that happened ---too quickly---which I know NOW can simply screw your metabolism in a big way. Stop thinking QUICK FIXES. Think LIFE LONG SOLUTIONS.) and what I need to do NOW to get my body lean and healthy and more fit than ever. I know NOW. I know have NO DOUBT about reaching my goal- and for those of you reading my blog for a while, I had NOT been in that state of mind for a LONG LONG TIME. I had been mired in doubt and fear for months and months.

NO MORE.

In 2011, my fear is gone, my belief is HIGH and my goals are many. I really really want to focus - of course focus on my entire body - but focus on my DELTS (building some mass there) and my quad/hamstring - a nice balanced, well conditioned leg that is STRONG AS HELL. I plan to run FOUR 1/2 marathons and improve my time throughout the year. I will do yoga weekly, as I've said I would do for ages but have put to the back burner. I'm doing TRX and Crossfit and I cannot wait (no, I haven't started either yet, just got my TRX!!)

And, my abs WILL be showoff-worthy. Period.

And....I WILL do unassisted pull-ups. I will. 

Peace out kids. Hope y'all are enjoying the holidays and are ready to make a huge impact on your life in 2011. I know I am!! ;-)

Here is another "chapter" in my "How to Ditch The Psycho Diet Mentality" series:

QUESTION OF THE DAY: Do you drink soda? Regular or diet?

Just Breathe.

This will be me this weekend, hopefully for a large amount of time. I'm back from my trip...and SO glad to be back home, close to the family! For all of you that have emailed me, looks like my sister's fever might have broken today so she could be turning the corner. Imagine, poor thing, can't hold her own baby until she's totally broken the fever and isn't contagious. And LET ME TELL YA that baby is like Cute Overload, ok? 

For Realz.

I have to give myself a big #FAIL in my workouts this week. As of right now, we are looking at NONE. Yea, none. Now, on one hand, I "preach" about being able to fit workouts in, regardless of travel etc. And yet, sometimes, there ARE time periods where you have to make a personal decision that rest is better- that your mind AND body need it. This week, that's where I was. I'm still working on not WORRYING about others so much, but realistically, I was just in a state of constant preoccupation while I was gone. Then on top of that we had our company holiday party, so there's that. I only had 2 cocktails and I drank a ton of water on the way back to the hotel, but I was STILL soooo dehydrated. I'm just NOT into that anymore. 

So.....I'm taking tonight to just BREATHE, take a long hot bubble bath and chill. I'm reading Tim Ferris' The Four Hour Body and WOW WOW WOW. I'm like in awe of this man and the research. A LOT of my interest in this stems from me figuring out the tummy issues I've been having, and the realization that giving up certain foods is really NOT that big of a deal.....I can't believe I'm hearing myself say that. Sure, I still love the taste of some (formerly labeled) "bad" foods like lasagna or cheeseburgers, but on one hand, I've learned that a bad stomach ache is NOT worth the five minutes of tasting that item, and I've also learned that many of the (formerly forbidden) foods - when I pay attention to them - just don't taste THAT great. 

So, all of this "learning" or experimenting or just plain paying attention has been teaching me a LOT. And it has convinced me that I am positioned very well to jump up SEVERAL NOTCHES in my "diet" game and really eat in the most healthy manner possible  --- and that is HEALTHY HOW I DEFINE IT--- it doesn't necessarily mean it will work for all of you. But I am certainly realizing #1) what is most important to me and #2) what I am capable of and #3) what I am willing to do for the end result and for keeping that end result. 

We all have to decide that for ourselves. All I can say is, I am damn excited about it and SO looking forward to the changes I'm going to see very soon. I'm really ready to pound out a KILLER workout tomorrow and Sunday and just CRUSH IT the last two weeks of this year. Next year has a lot of fun awesome butt kicking in store. 

QUESTION OF THE DAY: Do you consider yourself a "social" drinker, or do you drink on a regular basis, or not at all? Just curious. 

Here is today's vlog in that series I'm doing on "Breaking the Psycho Diet Mentality". ;-)