No Looking Back. Only Ahead.

This has ALWAYS been one of my favorite quotes of all time. And it is SOOO true. What's going on in our minds is so critically important and will - IT WILL- determine our success or failure. I'm going to vlog about this later this week but two people approached me this past week asking about "diets" and it got me thinking about exactly this point. One friend of mine said that her mom was asking about Trendy Diet 101 and "did it work?". Then my other friend told me that she was fed up with not losing weight and was going on a psycho diet that her trainer told her to do-- NO CARBS (of course!) and a whole bunch of other "No's". 

Both of these people were in the same mindset of "I CAN'T DO THIS ON MY OWN. THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME, I HAVE TO FIND THE RIGHT DIET TO FIX ME.". (And y'all know, I've told you that in MY past, during the past two years, I had this very very wrong mindset for too long!).

Preach it Oprah. Let me say that I dig Oprah. I never watched the show, but I do subscribe to her magazine and I love that woman. I think she is GORGEOUS. So, what I'm about to say is NOT in any way a "dog" on her. It's a factual observation. Quite often, people that haven't reached their weight loss goal will say, "Well if I had all the time in the world and unlimited wealth to pay a personal trainer and a chef, I'd be buff too." THAT IS NOT TRUTH AT ALL. Oprah's weight battle has been witnessed in the public eye and clearly, she is a more curvy Oprah now than in her Medifast (is that the diet she went on way back when?) days. This woman is one of the wealthiest persons in the world. And she has not been able to get her weight demons addressed. 

It's not about money. It's not about the right "diet". It's not about lap-band surgery or liposuction. If you want to be successful in this weight loss journey- YOU HAVE TO GET YOUR MIND RIGHT. I have personally - FINALLY-- learned this lesson earlier this year. I had that bad mindset. Ask some of my friends- Amy or Carla or Jennifer or Sarah -- at some point, as late as January of this year, I was asking them what THEY ate, so I could copy it letter for letter, because clearly (I thought) there was some magic diet pill that I was missing....NOT. NOT TRUTH. 

When I started reading these great books and had several "A-HA!" moments of awakening, I finally started moving toward inner peace, toward acceptance of myself and my body, and what it has been through, what my mind and my heart have been through the past several years. I stopped listening to all the panicked thoughts, the negative self-talk, the fear-- all that was just NOISE that was distracting me and pushing me in a direction, a new direction, every other day. The more I began to CALM DOWN, RELAX and start (Yes, I'm going to say it...) loving myself, and treating myself with respect and encouragement, the more my life began to change. 

This photo expresses how inside, I began to feel-- like I was breaking FREE finally of these horrible, limiting thoughts and attitudes that had kept me down......THIS is my success for the first part of 2011. It's been very recent, and this will be an ongoing journey for me...like I have shared in the past, one of my other favorite quotes is, "A Garden is never finished...". I'm never FINISHED. 

Because I finally SAW what I needed to see about myself and within myself, I could finally start changing. I have this fantastic therapist now that helps me see things in a better light-- wow, if I would have had any idea a shrink could do so much with me, I would have started going YEARS AGO, probably right when my divorce stormed into my life. I thank God that I can see her every week, and I'm grateful for the books filled with wisdom that are helping me change my life -- change parts of myself, for the better. It's all FINALLY GOOD. 

I had the desire to change before, but I didn't believe in myself. I certainly wasn't loving myself, I was beating myself up mentally every single day. When I look back at that now, I am horrified, and I'm not shocked at all as to why the past two years were so so hard for me...why I didn't really get anywhere in my fitness journey and really in many areas in my life, professionally and personally. 

NOW, it's all changing. And wow. The second half of 2011 is so exciting to me. My inner peace is having an effect on every part of my life. I'm enjoying my workouts again. I have a healthy relationship with food again. I don't DOUBT my abilities to succeed anymore. I love who I am now and who I am BECOMING. 

This is my mantra (or well, one of them!) for the rest of this year. That which I have accomplished, is only the beginning. Just because I've conquered my food demons doesn't mean I am "fixed"-- you always have to work at a healthy mindset....and I don't plan on ever stopping the reading, the talking with my therapist, the taking time out for prayer and meditation....this is all what I do to feed my heart and mind, while my workouts and "diet" feed my body. 

If you are still in any way thinking you need a perfect "DIET" or surgery or to starve yourself or punish yourself to get thin, and that getting thin will fix everything--- KNOW THAT THIS IS WRONG. Know that the concept of "you have to love yourself" is not just a bunch of hokey BS. It is so true. It WILL change your future. 

Tomorrow is hot yoga. I can't wait. And next week I'm going to be in Miami, my favorite place, for 9 glorious days. I'm staying with my BFF Kelly down there, she's a yoga instructor....so you KNOW (and this time I WILL DO IT) I'm getting her on some vlogs. I'm getting my NAMASTE on while I'm down there and doing NOTHING but baking in the sun and drinking some Mojito's. This vacation will be the beginning of the rest of this year. And this year is the beginning of the rest of my life. Amen.

Here's the vloggy randomness I shot earlier this weekend. Until tomorrow- have a great weekend!

Also- many of you have been writing, asking to see a list of some of the books I've read that opened my eyes so to speak:

• The Yoga Body Diet, by Kristen Schultz Dollard and John Douillard
• The Yoga of Eating, by Charles Eisenstein
• True You, by Janet Jackson
• Just For the Record, by Geri Halliwell
• Tranquilista, by Kimberly Wilson
• Hip Tranquil Chick, by Kimberly Wilson
• What Color is Your Personality? by Carol Ritberger <--will change your LIFE.
• Lost and Found, by Geneen Roth
• enLIGHTened, by Jessica Berger Gross
• Breaking Free From Emotional Eating, Geneen Roth <<-- HUGE impact on my eating attitude. HUGE!
• Knowing Your Value, by Mika Brzezinski