Happy.
Saturday, February 18, 2012 at 12:30PM
Hello Kittens. Oh Dear, Kelly has been out of touch again this week, I see that. ;-) Yup. Been busy, and I said in my vlog below I think it is more realistic for me to aim for posting 3x week than to try and do what I've done in the past with 6-7X a week. FitFluential is growing sooooo fast and it's getting really exciting but it's been overwhelming.
As you know, I finally realized in the midst of getting REALLY SICK a lot toward the end of the year, that I was totally and completely...
OUT. OF. BALANCE.
I had no boundaries. I've been burning the candle at all ends trying to make everyone ELSE happy and not worrying about my needs or state of well-being at all. And it started to break me. I started getting burned out. And so tired and exhausted....and tired of BEING exhausted.
I quit my job to build this business and it is a BLESSING. God is blessing this business every day- but you know what, if I don't bless ME and find my inner peace and find my balance, I will be a flame that has burnt out. Then I'm no good to anyone. And certainly not myself.
Truth. And no one can start that journey but yourself. I've certainly had a lot of friends and family members recently TRY to help me, say "you've got to take care of yourself, give yourself a break" and I didn't listen.
When I realized that my life was becoming an extreme version of "All work no play"-- and by extreme, I mean that every day, every week, all of my hours were GO-GO-GO-GO-GO-GO and all about reacting to everyone who WANTS A PIECE OF ME in some way. When you set expectations with people around you that they can continually TAKE from you and never give, those expecations create a runaway train that you can never stop.
I don't remember the last time I felt truly peaceful or really just HAPPY. Most of you know me and would describe me as a happy person and a motivated/motivating one, but it's been a LONG LONG LONG time since I've been gushing that I'm HAPPY. I'm one that has been knocked down a LOT by love and life the past 5 years. And I'm great at being tough and getting back up, I see that. Last year, after starting to see a therapist (God Bless That woman!!!) I began to see how much of me was all about pleasing and serving everyone else around me but me, and how that doesn't work.
This is NOT to suggest we all become SELFISH JERKS-- but it's about taking back your life when you've been giving your all to everyone else and many of them just keep taking and soon you are EMPTY.
As much progress as I've been making with my therapist, I still kept making promises to myself that I would do this or that-for myself- next week. Tomorrow. As soon as I finish this or that, as soon as I return these 700 emails, as soon as I approve these 75 Ambassadors that are annoyed it's taking so long, as soon as I take these 6 calls because they are upset I haven't talked to them yet.....you get the idea......
Here is what I know. The past 5 years have been 5 of the HARDEST of my life- emotionally devastating and just tough life lessons- but I did keep the faith. I knew if I kept getting back UP, it would all come together. And now it is. And NOW because my time is finally right, because I FINALLY was ready to take action, to search out what I needed to pull me OUT of hiding....NOW I am feeling HAPPY.
I feel HAPPY.
I texted my friend Carla today and I said, I feel so happy. So right. So excited. HAPPY. I haven't really felt that way in a while. HAPPY is different than positive or motivated or diligent.
There's a lot more HAPPY and PEACEFUL and growth ahead and a lot more DESIGNING MY FUTURE to come. Isn't that beautiful- that YOU are in control of what your future will look like?
Mine is looking AMAZING. Brighter every moment.
Welcome to Club Kelly. ;-)
Reader Comments (16)
I've dealt with this so many times in life, worrying about everyone else but yourself! I love that you posted this and I love that Steve jobs quote! Seriously it's so true. Good for you for seeing a therapist! I've gone to one since I was in 6th grade and it's the best thing I could've done! You take care of you girl :-) you ROCK lady!
It's interesting (to me. commence NavelGazingMusic please) how happiness is truly contagious too.
Your finding your zen and your smile and your peace made ME HAPPIER ZENNIER AND SMILIER.
It reminded me to stop and focus on what I have & how I appreciate it and BE IN THE MOMENT as well.
xoxo
Kelly you are learning the most important lesson, to take care of you first, if you do that all the rest will fall into place, just remember to turn off the smart phone, computer, TV and just veg for a while. Run without ear buds once in a while - that time is your time, nothing but you and your feet light touching the ground and moving forward - like you are in the rest of your life :-) Life is here for us to enjoy, we just have to stop and see that once in and a while. Enjoy it while you can.
Harold
Maybe you could consider giving a PEACE of you instead of a piece. I'm glad you're happy. I know that feeling of "as soon as," and then you realize you can never reach a good stopping point. I am going to bake and go do a workout challenge today instead of sitting at the computer for hours! And 3-4 times a week is so much more realistic for you. Go get 'em!
Awesome! Being happy, being at peace, feeling in control -- all good, all setting you up for wonderful things!
(((hugs)))) to all you- reading your comments made me even happier!! XOXOOXO
“I did keep the faith. I knew if I kept getting back UP, it would all come together. And now it is. And NOW because my time is finally right, because I FINALLY was ready to take action, to search out what I needed to pull me OUT of hiding....NOW I am feeling HAPPY.”
Sounds amazing. You deserve it Kelly!
Martin when will I ever get to chat with you in real life? This is becoming a Must- Happen in my life. ;-)
In real life? Do you know me? What if I am a dangerous criminal serving a life sentence, riding a bike around the prison yard, and writing these comments from my VIP cell with Internet access? What if I am an impostor taking advantage of the anonymity of the Internet (of course, there is no real anonymity on the Internet) and of the power of words to manipulate people? How old am I? Am I 17? Am I 70?
Be careful Kelly!!! You are a smart woman, no doubt about it, but still, someone might outsmart you.
Scary?
Anyway, I’d like to chat with you in real life too. I think we might hang out in person someday.
Martin, trust me when I say -- I've had experience with the freaky psychos you refer to - I've dealt with not one but two stalkers, which is why I had to change my phone numbers and install a new security system. I've learned to not trust automatically that people are who they say they are and also to just not be so trusting and giving in general. Sad but it's a truth I've had to learn. So I don't believe you are in prison and you are too well spoken I think to be 17 but if I ever DO meet you in person it will be in a public place first and many of my friends and family will know where I am so if you try to kidnap me they will catch you. ;-) hehehehohoho
:-)
Kelly, I absolutely loved this post! I am so happy you are happy! Last year was very hard for me so I understand trying to get to a place of peace in life. It makes me sad to say this but I am still struggling with finding peace in my life but it is my hope for 2012. I won't give up!
That's right Michelle....just don't give up. For everyone things fall into place at the right time. I love the saying "God's timing is never late" ;-)
why would anyone DO this? And living by quotes...well, tell me if it works. Betcha it doesn't.
Hello bugsy!
Why would anyone do WHAT? I am sorry, but I probably don’t understand you.
And “living by quotes”? I don’t think Kelly lives by quotes. And I don’t think she is suggesting that we should live by quotes. That does not mean, however, that she cannot like a quote. That she cannot agree with a quote.
Bugsy, do you like somebody? Do you sometimes agree with somebody? If so, does it automatically mean that you are trying to copy that person? That you are trying to live by the words of that person?
Bugsy, it seems that you don’t agree with Kelly about something (which is perfectly OK of course) and that you know about something that works better than the things Kelly does or lives by. If so, please let us know what you know. I would appreciate it and I think Kelly and her other readers would appreciate it too.
Of course, I cannot talk for Kelly or anybody else – the above are only my opinions.
Martin, thank you so much for sticking up for me. This is the first I'm hearing from our friend Bugsy, who has jumped in to share his/her incredibly inspiring and useful comments. I don't expect everyone to agree with me or applaud me or like me, but what I find absurd are people that leave negative comments like that- dripping of superiority and such. It's like, WHAT IS YOUR POINT? But Bugsy, we wish you well and I'm so sorry that I am such a disappointment to you by sharing these awful quotes!! How HORRIBLE for the world that I did so! ;-)