Enjoy the Ride.
I saw this photo while I was being sucked in perusing Pinterest and it seemed to represent in a visual way, part of today's blog theme....which is the idea of slowing down to enjoy the ride, or stopping to smell the roses.
I've been sharing with you many of the epiphanies I've had recently about my LIFE. These began to happen earlier this year, and some maybe just toward the end of December of 2010. There were a series of moments that simply jolted me into seeing my life with such clarity-- what was wrong, what was right, and what was missing. It was as if I could see what my life had become, like in 3rd person.
One major theme that came up for me was that I'd spent the better part of (what I'm now calling) "The Bracket Years" in this frenzied rushed state....trying in a perpetual panic mode to work harder, better, faster, longer, travel more, further, do more, be more, workout more- do EVERYTHING MORE and do it ALL NOW NOW NOW. And as I looked back at these recent years, I realized that doing all of that, had gotten me nowhere. I still felt so 'far behind' in everything, and yet on top of that, I had missed out on LIFE along the way. I said no to EVERYTHING, partially because I put work first above everything and partially because I've been so hard on myself and that I'm not back in my size 6 jeans yet, that I didn't think anyone should SEE me, socially. You might laugh but these literally were the thought processes in my mind. I didn't want to go out because I've been so horrified by how I look--- whether it was my weight or my skin infection back then...it was always something.
I share this with you NOT because I'm saying this is a good place to be. IT IS RIDICULOUS. But I only have understood this recently. This is NOT how to LIVE.
I missed times like the girl up top, who has her hair in rollers and probably a great cup of tea or coffee. It makes me think she's walking around her fabulous apartment, leisurely getting ready to go out, maybe watching the TV while she reads the paper......I used to have a ritual every Saturday morning...that was when I cleaned my house, did laundry and watched Food Network. I like to clean. I actually clean my house before my cleaning lady comes over- how weird is that?
I missed out on a lot of this:
Lunch with my girlfriends!
Just reading a good book! I'd see Kelly's Blog and her amazing book reviews and I'd say, "Oh I wish I had the time to read....". Silly! I was the one not allowing myself to slow down and read a book!
And my workouts! Oh boy. Y'all- I LOVE to workout. I enjoy the actual working out TIME. But the past two year, I was always rushing my workouts-- either going crazy with 2 hour sweatfests where I was so exhausted afterward I could barely move (and then so hungry later that I ate too much) or giving up before I started and NOT working out- because I thought I "didn't have time"-- why? Work! Or my health, or both, or just being too worn out.
VICIOUS CYCLE.
I'm working on two big things in my life, among many others. But the two main "themes" in my life are:
- Slow Down, Enjoy the Ride.
- Be Kind to ME.
More time with friends. More time not rushing through life. More time without deadlines. Taking each day, one day at a time, instead of putting EVERYTHING off until I am unttainably...perfect.
This is me, a work in progress, and one that will never be completed, but, I've stopped rushing through it. And...it's starting to feel wonderful.
So, here is the vlog I shot after doing Insanity yesterday-- a different Insanity workout DVD-- and you'll see, I'm taking time to go through all the great different workout DVDS I have and I'll review them with you. But I don't need to RUSH and do Insanity Asylum all NOW or all the RUSH FIT workouts right now or the new Jillian or Cathe workouts....I can take my time and do a new one each day.
Figuring out these attitudes is helping me with food--- (and the great books I'm reading too)--- because this whole "RUSH" mentality can happen when you obsessively diet and then give yourself ONE cheat day or cheat meal. You mentally feel like you have to RUSH and eat as much "bad/forbidden" food as possible HURRY HURRY in that one time slot because then at midnight, it's back to prison. And when you are in prison, you are rushing through each day to get to that cheat day or cheat meal. What if you had a totally calmed down approach to food where NOTHING was every off limits. You could always choose ANYTHING in the world that you wanted to eat?? You'd become FAR LESS enthralled with the forbidden fruit....the more I CALM DOWN AND SLOW DOWN and pay attention to my thoughts, the more I can catch myself in a potentially "eating for the wrong reasons" moment, and I figure out what's REALLY going on in my head and I move on. If I really REALLY want a cappuccino at 8pm, but I'm at my 1500 calorie limit, and I'm calm, cool and collected and I really just want a cup-- not because I'm mad or discouraged-- I'm gonna have it. If I have 1/10th of a cup, so be it....the more I fill up my house with NORMAL food again and stop caging in little "bad food windows" of time, I'm becoming less and less focused on "what am I gonna eat next" and more focused on LIFE.
I love that woman. And I love her cooking-- and guess what? I love pasta. There- I said it!! I'm a fitness blogger who loves carbs....and I used to think, NO WAY, there is no way I could cook rich Italian dishes like Giada does every day and not be 200lbs. And when she'd say how she eats whatever she wants but smaller portions-- I was always thinking "NO way. There is no way!!!" But--- guess what? She doesn't only cook egg whites all day long and then on Friday, every Friday, she makes truffles and cookies and lasagna--- she's around pasta and rich sauces all day every day.....the forbidden fruit becomes a lot less forbidden. It's value goes way down.
I used to work in a lot of Italian restaurants and I served about 200,000 pieces of Tiramisu. I never order it. Why? So sick of seeing it, smelling it, watching people go nuts over it. I could have an entire pan of it in front of me and not touch it. But-- talk about Krispy Kremes being in front of me and I'd say, "How do you eat just one????" -- you know why my brain still thinks that way? Because I've conditioned my mind to think I can't control my own body. I've made Krispy Kremes this overwhelmingly forbidden fruit that must be eaten in private and NO ONE should know!!! It's bad!! And because it's soooo forbidden.....it becomes THAT much more mentally delicious. I bet if I had a cabinet full of donuts like that at all times, I'd rarely eat them eventually.
I am NOT suggesting that you or I actually do this- fill our fridges and pantries with food-- it's more about this concept....getting our minds around --- treating food like a normal, small part of life, not THE SOLE FOCUS OF OUR THOUGHTS....no more "How can I keep my calories low, how can I not eat between meals, how can I make sure I have enough protein, how can I not have carbs after 4pm??" and a bit more, "Oh wow, my stomach is churning....I think I'll have a turkey sandwich on my deck and chill out for 20 minutes...."
And maybe...
Nom. Nom.
Life is getting happier every day. How about you??
Insanity
Reader Comments (2)
Kelly, a great vlog!
6:16 “I’ve got to go because I’ve got three calls this afternoon [...]”
8:36 [Kelly grinning happily] “THIS is getting back to old school Kelly – I am under 10 minute vlog. What do you think about that?”
10:00 [Martin smiling]
:-)
I KNOW! it's like I can't help but keep TALKING!! HAHAHA